the end

Looking over my blog postings, I think the three that stand out to me are Notes of a Native Son, MIddle Passage, and Waste Land.  I chose these three as my best because they are the posts that I found a meaning in the writing and wanted to know more or really questioned why it was so important to American litature. In Notes of a Native Son, I am still left wondering the same thoughts as I did in my post and to my surprise want to look more into what people thought about it too. The middle passage I found interesting and I was able to find how ironic things were because of my history111 class. It was nice to engage with knowledge I had. The Waste Land left me wondering what the heck? and it was the first real time I felt confidante in saying that in class. My ideas of lituerature have changed since the start of class, it mad me look into authors I would probably not chose on my own and on top of it, I got to learn why its important and the reasoning for it. I have learneed alot from this class, the main thing is there are many types of writing and with a little thought and energy it can open up a whole new way of thinking or viewing the world.

My evlaution of my performance this semster is mixed. I feel that I exeled in classroom disscusion and my papers but I aslo feel that the bloging and the 8 am quizes were my arch nemesis. My stregnths as a writer are great and sadly I finnally understand the idea of blogging and how its just writting thoughts, unfornutatly for me this comes too late since this is the last blog I have. I would say that this blogging has been my weekness this semster but I do feel confident that I have over come my disdain for it, so that is somthing I will take with me. I even wrote in my blog with my friend to there surprise.

I wish I could say an A+, for my grade in this class, but I know that is not what I will get. I feel like I have overcome alot this semster and unfortuanly my grade isnt an emotional one. I realized that I have lost my drive and my for lack of a better word spark, inside myself. This class has made me relize that I cannot let my Rheumatiod Arthritis and A.D.D. drag me down. I do know that through the readings and talking with my intructo,r that I am now aware of what I have let slip away and as the tears well in my eyes I have some changes to make. I know my blogging skills are not the best but I will walk away proud of myself for not shutting down complety and ending the class doing them. SO take that A.D.D! :) I did it! and it may not seem like a huge accomlishment to others but to me its huge! I do have to say I dont feel I deserve a C because I  feel and know I accomplished so much more.

Thank you for all your insight that you may not have realized and your enthustiasm is inspiring. Best to you and your life.

Lindsay

Pynchon...

I find it alarming that although I see the strangeness of the names of the characters and the odd statements that they make and yet I don't think to look into it more. Why? I’m not sure maybe because I am so focused on detangling what I am reading that I do not take the opportunity to let it soak in, or it could be the fact that I am more occupied with what prompted the writer to even write this. Once again I am intrigued not by the work but by the reasoning behind it. I would never find myself sitting in a room thinking of such things, so why? Does this man find it so inspiring to write such a novel? Is it fun or is it an artistic statement? In some ways I envy someone that can sit and produce a novel with so much thought and passion behind what they are trying to write. When I can barely commit to writing a blog, or finishing, even starting a passion I may have.

Well this has been an interesting read so far, and choosing were to begin on thoughts is not as easy as one may think. So lets just jump in!

Confusing and a bit frustrating to read, this is not a book I would take to the pool and consider a delightful read. I feel like it took me longer to read these few chapters because I was constantly going back and re-reading to see where I lost track of what was going on. Then, at other times I felt like I was following along just fine, then I would stop and question my reading skills of the times I had to go back to figure out what I had read.  The sentence structure is definitely different and in my opinion led to a little confusion, I also felt that in my reading I how somehow lost the point or maybe the better word would be plot because of the change of subject so quickly.

At times I was wondering were I was lacking in my reading abilities and understanding of how books are written, due to the fact I was so frustrated with the structure of the book. The story in someways gets lost to me because I am so focused on myself. I do have to say though that I am a little caught off guard by her responses to things and how she just adapts to the situations she find herself in and then is on to the next. When most people would break down at the thought of an affair, and would have to spend time with friends or a shrink to come to terms with how they feel. I do have to remind myself that this is a book and reality is what the author makes it.

It is interesting though, I know a concept not suspected after all the complaining and self doubt I just stated. It became even more so, once I left class and the discussion that was had. I do have to say that I just might envy the readers that see the insight without much effort, but maybe this is the answer to why I am not seeking to be an english major.

Notes of a Native Son Discussion

I was not sure what to expect when I walked in on Friday for the discussion on Notes of a Native Son, I was really nervous that I was underprepared, I felt as if I should have written a paper or prepared for a debate, but instead I was met with a pretty laid back discussion. This I have to say, was a disappointment I was really curious about some of the thoughts I had such as, if the father suspected his son of being gay, or how the story reflects the Trey VanMartin story, or even peoples thoughts on the story as a whole. In the past I have struggled with engaging in a story, poem or essay but I was really excited with this discussion and wish that the people in my group were also, rather than waiting for a prompt or having to fill there requirements. I felt like I stepped out of my box and took a risk in voicing what I thought I had noticed or wondered and was met with blank stares.

I was not really sure how to prepare for this discussion but I did read it twice and I as usual really enjoyed the short Bio at the beginning of the story, I think that this helped me the most in understanding where he was coming from when he wrote certain passages. I think that my interest in genealogy and history also gave me a perspective of what it was like back then, and what he was up against.

I am taking away a few things from this discussion, student led discussions not always the best and being aware of the world around you is important, the last thing would be not being afraid to speak up and engage in whats going on. I had a hard time not saying anything once my requirements were met. I think I would have liked to have been led by our instructor although this would make it hard for him to grade us, but there is always next Friday.

The Invisable Man by Ellison

Once again I find myself liking this story, I think it is due to the fact  that it about a person and there struggles with life and how they interact with what they are presented with, throughout there life. Maybe it is that I can see why or how they can feel the way they do that gives me an insight to what is happening to them and why they feel the way they do.I have come to see that I like writings that I can follow and compare with what is similar or unfamiliar in my life. I think that this is a book I may have to pick get on my own and add it to the list of must reads. I am defiantly looking forward to discussing this in class more.

Dream Songs by Beryyman

BerryMans, Dream Songs is very interesting to try and read, it makes me feel like I am in the 90's at an open microphone poetry reading. But when I slow down and re read what he has written it sounds exactly like someone trying to tell another person about a dream they have had. It is very scattered and at times I find myself dazing off into my own thoughts and hoping the rambling will end soon or at least get to a point I can relate to.I do relate to section 14 lines 10 through 12 and laugh inside that the people who are so great, at times find others boring. This gives me a new hope that I am not such an outcast in the world of great literature, when one of their own find it boring at times too. I am waiting to see what I have missed when we discuss this in class, but I have come to a realization that I am defiantly more interested in the backgrounds of the writer that has been given at the beginning of each story. I actually find myself looking forward to reading these more than what they have written, and find myself wondering how this story/poem/book passage came from the background that was given for them. It's funny what people find interesting unfortunately for me I am not being graded on their backgrounds. 

Hayden: The Middle Passage

When I read, The Middle Passage, the impact of what I had read did not fully set in, until I was sitting in class and we began to discuss what had happened in detail. I think this was due to the fact that I was trying to read all the selections and hurried myself through them. It is strange to me that this was allowed to happen to people, I understand that times are different, but it seems that we treated animals better than the people who were torn from their homes and families.

I really liked the structure of this writing and felt it added to the impact of what Hayden was writing about. I can also see why this is a part of American Literature and finally feel like I have read something I can engage with. The one thing that has stayed with me is that John Quincey  Adams went and defended the slave traders, this is hypocrisy in every sense of the word. How can one person fight for the rights of a nation and yet deny the rights of all the people within it, it is so strange how a nation can justify some things and be blind to others.